By: A Tired Millennial with ADHD Just Trying to Make It in Manila (or Wherever Life Threw Me)

Sometimes I lie in bed staring at the ceiling fan, not because I’m dramatic or deep—but because I’m mentally buffering. My brain’s playing a constant game of “What now?” and “Kaya ko pa ba?” while I try to remember if I paid the Meralco bill, replied to my boss, or ate anything other than kape and Skyflakes today.

I’m a Filipino millennial. I have ADHD. I’m tired. And I know I’m not the only one.

The ADHD Brain in a Country That Barely Acknowledges It

Let me start by saying this: ADHD in adulthood isn’t cute. It’s not quirky or just being a little “distracted.” It’s a full-blown mental triathlon—with zero prep time—where the finish line keeps moving and the scoreboard resets every morning.

But in the Philippines, ADHD is still misunderstood. Most titos and titas just call it “kulit,” or say “nasa cellphone ka lang palagi,” or worse, chalk it up to laziness. You’re expected to be productive, focused, and always galingan mo sa trabaho—but no one talks about how your brain fights you every step of the way.

You’ll be writing the most brilliant paragraph one moment, then suddenly you’re Googling if whales sleep with one eye open, texting your cousin about a funny TikTok, and somehow it’s already 3 PM. You forgot to eat lunch, your laundry is molding in the washer, and you missed an email from your boss asking for “that file by EOD.”

It’s not just forgetfulness. It’s executive dysfunction. It’s your brain being like a browser with 78 tabs open, three of them playing random audio, one frozen, and you can’t figure out where the music is coming from.

There’s no structured support for this here. No school programs. No company accommodations. Diagnosis? Only if you can afford therapy, and even then, you’ll probably get side-eyed by someone who thinks you’re just making excuses.

So we cope the best we can. We write to-do lists we forget about. We start planners every January that get abandoned by February. We promise to budget, then impulsively buy something from Lazada or Shopee during a 12.12 sale because dopamine is dopamine. We begin projects with fire in our chest, then drop them halfway through because we’re overwhelmed or—let’s be honest—forgot they even existed.

In a country where being “productive” is a measurement of your worth, having a neurodivergent brain feels like both a curse and a punchline. And when you’re also the breadwinner, the ate or kuya who needs to hold everything together? The weight gets unbearable.

But we keep trying anyway. Kasi wala tayong choice. Kasi may pamilya. Kasi may mga umaasa. Kasi kailangan e.

And that’s the part people don’t see—we’re not lazy. We’re exhausted from trying to operate in a world that was never built for brains like ours.

Adulting in the Philippines Hits Different

This version of adulthood feels like a prank.

Most of us didn’t get the luxury of just “figuring it out.” We became breadwinners the moment we got our first call center job, online gig, or contract work. Some of us had dreams—artist, filmmaker, entrepreneur—but they had to be shelved because panganay ka, and kailangan mo magpadala.

So now we juggle rent, bills, groceries, the needs of our family back home, and if we’re married or have kids? Add another layer of responsibility. It’s like we’re constantly torn between two generations—the ones who raised us and the ones we’re trying to raise ourselves.

And the guilt? It’s loud. We want to help. We love our families. But we’re also drowning, mentally and financially. And when we try to set boundaries, we get labeled as selfish or lumalaki na ang ulo.

“Success” Looks So Different for Us Now

I have friends who are thriving—working in tech, nursing in Canada, or managing teams at big companies. But even they message me like: “Am I just doing this for the paycheck?” or “Parang hindi ko na kilala sarili ko.”

Some are chasing passion projects—writing, podcasting, freelancing—but are constantly fighting burnout and financial anxiety. They glow differently, yes, but behind the IG posts are sleepless nights and unstable income.

Others are still figuring it out—maybe starting over after a breakup, getting laid off, switching careers, or healing from years of overwork. They’re not failing—they’re just honest enough to admit they’re lost. And in this economy? Sino bang hindi?

I Miss 2009, Honestly.

I miss when life was school, anime sa TV5, and worrying about load for text, not adult responsibilities. I miss Naruto, Laging Handa notebooks, and eating turon after class. I miss simpler problems like whether I passed math or if my crush would reply “GM” back.

Back then, we had problems, sure—but there was time to breathe. Now it’s: Gising. Trabaho. Padala. Guilt. Kape. Ulit-ulit.

We had big dreams. Now we just want peace, a decent salary, and a day off that isn’t spent doing chores for everyone else.

But You Know What? We’re Still Here.

For all the heaviness, all the unpaid overtime and emotional labor—we’re still standing. Somehow.

We show up to Zoom calls with a smile even if we’re breaking inside. We send money even if we haven’t bought anything nice for ourselves in months. We try to build something for our future, even if the world keeps shifting beneath our feet.

And we love—deeply. Whether it’s through sharing memes, sending pasalubong, or reminding friends to eat, we’re still holding each other up. That’s something, right?

A Gentle Reminder: You’re Doing Okay

If you’re a tired panganay wondering when your life will start—this is for you.
If you’re a millennial with ADHD, struggling to function in a system that expects you to be a robot—this is for you.
If you’re lost, restarting, or just barely surviving—this is still for you.

You’re not failing. You’re just navigating an impossible situation with so much heart. And if all you did today was survive, that’s enough.

Final Thoughts

I hope you find the space to rest without guilt. I hope one day, you won’t have to choose between your own needs and your family’s survival. I hope your dreams get a second chance.

And if you ever build a time machine back to 2009? Isama mo naman ako. I’ll bring the pancit canton, you bring the USB full of AMVs.

Until then… we push forward, one small miracle at a time.
Tuloy lang, kapatid.